Game of Thrones Ultimate Rankings: Top Episodes, Characters, Season MVPs and More!

And now our watch is ended. Here are my rankings of all of the things!

Top 30 Episodes:

30. No One (608)
29. Valar Morghulis (210)
28. Mockingbird (407)
27. Dark Wings, Dark Words (302)
26. The Bear and the Maiden Fair (307)
25. The Dragon and the Wolf (707)
24. Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things (104) 
23. You Win Or You Die (107)
22. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms (802)
21. The Children (410)
20. Second Sons (308) 
19. Two Swords (401)
18. The Laws of Gods and Men (406)
17. And Now His Watch Is Ended (304)
16. Fire and Blood (110)
15. Kissed by Fire (305)
14. The Spoils of War (704)
13. Mother's Mercy (510)
12. The Door (605)
11. The Viper and the Mountain (408)
10. The Lion and the Rose (402)
9. Hardhome (508)
8. A Golden Crown (106)
7. Baelor (109)
6. Battle of the Bastards (609)
5. The Wolf and the Lion (105)
4. Winter is Coming (101)
3. Blackwater (209)
2. The Winds of Winter (610)
1. The Rains of Castamere (309)

Top 101 Characters:

If Game of Thrones were produced by Judd Apatow: Part Two

Part Two: The Ones That Weren't In Part One!

In case you missed Part One: I have it on good authority that an alternate dimension exists in which Judd Apatow produced Game of Thrones, not Girls, for HBO. Here are the actors he cast in certain key roles.

Daenerys Targaryen: Lena Dunham

Dunham is one of the brightest and freshest talents of her generation; a writer and actor with her own unique voice. Much like our beloved Khaleesi, she also has, as the Barenaked Ladies would say, 'a history of losing her shirt.'

Jaime Lannister: Paul Rudd

Handsome and manly (i.e. hairy-chested), yet gifted with a wry sense of humor, this is one of the easiest roles to cast.

Cersei Lannister: Leslie Mann

What would an Apatow production be without his wife? Her ability to get under your skin would have been perfect for Queen Cersei, and this role would have reunited her with her on-screen husband from Knocked Up and This is 40, although their relationship in this is a little more...interesting (intercesting? incesteresting?)

Tyrion Lannister: Jonah Hill

It is a shame that Apatow couldn't have found someone who better fit this part size-wise, but the precedent (and technology) for this type of casting exists: the actors who played dwarves and hobbits in the Lord of the Rings movies were not themselves dwarves (plus, I couldn't find the existence of dwarves in any other Apatow project, so casting Warwick Davis would have been incongruous with the gimmick of this post...) 

Hill has the aptitude to portray Tyrion's trademark dry wit, which is essential for an actor playing the series' most beloved character. Plus, when you consider how much weight he has lost since his Superbad days, the slimmer version of Jonah Hill is, comparatively, a half-man.

Joffrey Baratheon: Christopher Mintz-Plasse

McLovin is excellent at portraying an irritating little dick, as seen in Superbad and Kick Ass. He also has experience playing royalty as (spoiler alert!!!) the king in Role Models (for, like, a minute).

Robert Baratheon: John C. Reilly

Reilly is a great actor, especially in roles that allow him to show his comedic chops. He also has an uncanny ability to seem belligerently drunk, even when he’s probably not trying to, which works perfectly for King Robert.

If Game of Thrones were produced by Judd Apatow...

According to the multiverse theory, there are an infinite amount of dimensions existing simultaneously. There is a dimension in which Al Gore won the presidential election and, thus, never went back in time to create the internet. There is a dimension in which the Buffalo Bills won Super Bowl XXVI but still lost Super Bowls XXV, XXVII and XXVIII. There is a dimension in which every new movie is a remake of A Beautiful Mind, each time with one added factual inaccuracy.

One of my favorite dimensions is the one in which comedy kingpin Judd Apatow was chosen to produce HBO's Game of Thrones. The Long Island native is known for writing, directing and / or producing many of the decade’s biggest comedy hits, including Anchorman, 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Superbad, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Girls.

The following list depicts the actors cast in the show’s key roles, as well as my reactions to each choice.

Part One: Starks and Friends!

Ned Stark: Seth Rogen

Who better than Apatow’s golden boy to be the face of Game of Throne’s flagship family? Sure, he’s a little young for the part, but that’s nothing a bit of CGI can’t clean up. Keep in mind that almost all of Apatow's regulars are in the 25-45 range, so age inconsistencies are just something viewers have to deal with.

Rogen and Evan Goldberg have also been tabbed to write many of the episodes.

Catelyn Stark: Kristen Wiig

Another strong choice. Wiig’s malleable face can depict a wide range of emotions. She’ll need to tap into all of them, from "disappointed" to "miserable," to accurately depict Catelyn. Plus, Rogen and Wiig already have experience playing a couple, as they portrayed the young George and Lucille Bluth on Season Four or Arrested Development.