Pop Culture Power Rankings: Halloween Costumes!

For this week’s theme, I ranked the most popular character costumes I saw during the 2013 Halloween parade in Greenwich Village.

I created a scientific formula to score each costume (dubbed the "Halloween Happy Time" score) by factoring the timeliness of the costume, how good the costume looks, how many people I saw wearing the costume, and how surprised I am that this costume was popular.

Unfortunately, the result was a seemingly random order, so I just re-ranked them based on how much I like the source material (which is, in itself, a ridiculous task…how do you compare a movie to television show to a video game to a pop star?)

#1: Marvel's Avengers

At this point, I’m pretty sure you could put the word “Marvel’s” in front of Manos: The Hands of Fate, and it would make $100 million. This same idea applies to Halloween, as the big M’s costumes were everywhere. The most popular were Iron Man, Captain America and Spider-Man (no, he’s not in the movie, but Spider-Man has occasionally been a member of the Avengers in the comic books, so I’m counting it. If you disagree with this decision, please direct all hate-mail to NedSnarkComplaintLine@gmail.com).

But the real reason the Avengers are ranked #1 is because there was no better Halloween costume than that of the lady shown above (who may or may not be my sister), who dressed up as all six of the (movie’s) Avengers, as well as Nick Fury, at once.

(Halloween Happy Time score: 89.4/100)

#2: Mario and Luigi

Over the past decade, the Super Mario Bros. have become a classic duo costume. You could even argue that they have become overused as a Halloween costume. That is, of course, a terrible opinion to have. I love seeing that today’s youngsters still enjoy the things I loved as a child. It makes me smile. Why wouldn’t you want me to smile?

(HHT score: 61.1/100)

#3: Walter White

Breaking Bad costumes have been popular for the past few years, but the show’s final season led to a boom in its representation on Halloween. There are a number of different ways to dress up as Walter White, including the yellow Hazmat suits, the Heisenberg hat, and the underwear-clad Walter White. Just make sure your little baggie is full of blue rock candy and not the real thing.

(HHT score: 59.8/100)

#4: Batman / The Joker

The Dark Knight came out over five years ago, but The Joker was still one of the most popular costumes I saw this year. The Dark Knight himself will be one of the most popular costumes until the end of days. Just make sure you have the voice down before you go out in public wearing the Batsuit (the same goes for you, Mr. Affleck).

Plenty of people dressed as Robin and Superman, but we'll stick them here since they are all part of the DC Universe.

(HHT score: 48.7/100)

#5: Pikachu

If you would have given me fifty chances to guess the costume I saw the most, I am confident that Pikachu would not have been one of them. For whatever reason (maybe there was a sale on Pikachu costumes in some popular New York City store?), this flagship Pokémon was possibly the most popular costume I saw. And there is nothing wrong with that; Pikachu is one cute electrified mouse.

(HHT score: 64.8/100)

#6: Adventure Time

I was very surprised to see three different couples dressed up as Finn and Jake from Adventure Time. I’ve only actually seen two episodes of this show, but the costumes were adorably quirky and instantly recognizable.

(HHT score: 72.8/100)

#7: Minions

The Minion costumes are cute, timely and make for a great group costume.  Unfortunately, Despicable Me might be the most overrated animated movie of the century (I say “might be” because Brave somehow won an Oscar),

(HHT score: 66.8/100)

#8: Miley Cyrus / Robin Thicke

By far, the easiest “it” costume to predict.  The two together make for a great duo costume, but both are easy enough to recognize on their own: Miley holding a white foam finger in her tan underpants or Bear shirt, Thicke in his Beetlejuice / classy referee suit. 

I saw a lot more Thickes, but that might have been due to the fact that it was drizzling on and off, forcing the Mileys to put on some more clothes.

(HHT score: 69.7/100)

#9: Ylvis Foxes

The two foxes from Ylvis’ “The Fox” are behind only Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke in terms of the most obvious duo costumes this year.  The Halloween costume corporations (or, "Big Costume," as I call them) even found a way to make a “sexy Fox” costume. Yay?

(HHT score: 41.4/100)

#10: Sexy ____

The most popular form of costume in the modern Halloween era, the sexy ____ costume trades cleverness for cleavage. I get it: sex sells, and boobies are the #1 and #2 most popular things on the planet, but for the most part, these costumes are just an excuse for a generation of trollops to check their morals at the door. When did we all turn into a bunch of lewd, smut-peddling vagrants. Modern society is circling the drain, people!

All that being said, kudos to these girls for creating a sexy Day of the Tentacles costume.

(HHT score: 17.4/100)

#11: Person Who Is “Too Grown Up” For Halloween

“Oh, you guys still dress up for Halloween? That’s cute. I’m an adult now, with a mortgage and a 401K and all of those other things that people pretend to understand.”

(HHT score: 9.0/100)