Parks and Recreation is the best comedy on television. If you think otherwise, then we are not in
agreement with each other.
Tier One: Leslie Knope
1. Broncos (6-0) – (Previous rank: 1)
Pawnee's fearless leader / preeminent waffle enthusiast, Leslie is one of the
most lovable characters on television.
Despite not being able to cover the lofty
27-point spread, the Broncos continue to be the class of the NFL. Like two of Pawnee’s more corpulent residents
committing adultery, their game with the Jaguars was a sloppy affair. Still, Peyton Manning is leading the Broncos
with the kind of efficiency that would make Leslie proud.
Tier Two: Ron Swanson
2. Chiefs (6-0) – (3)
Unquestionably the breakout character, Nick
Offerman’s Ron Swanson displays the kind of tough-guy grit that has personified
the Chiefs this season.
With their surprising perfect start, the
Chiefs are clearly following the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness to a T. Plus, Andy Reid has probably dressed up as Duke Silver for Halloween at least once.
Tier Three: Ben Wyatt
3. Seahawks (5-1) – (4)
4. Patriots (5-1) – (6)
5. Saints (5-1) – (2)
The addition of Adam Scott to the cast
elevated the show from good to great, and his chemistry with Amy Poehler is one
of the show’s strengths. His understated
delivery is key to balancing out some of the zanier characters he often appears
with, namely Leslie, Chris and Andy.
Tom Brady rallied the Pats past the Saints despite throwing
to a bunch of receivers who have had Fun-Size Butterfinger’s grafted on to their
hands. Meanwhile, Bill Belichick
completely out-coached Sean Peyton, somehow managing to hold Jimmy Graham and
Marques Colston to a combined one reception for 11 yards. There’s a reason these two Patriots will go down as
two of the best of all time.
Also, RIP Party Down.
Tier Four: Andy Dwyer / Bert Macklin, FBI
6. 49ers (4-2) – (7)
7. Colts (4-2) – (5)
8. Bengals (4-2) – (8)
9. Bears (4-2) – (10)
10. Lions (4-2) – (13)
No one on television skates the line between
hilarious and too-dumb-to-function better than Chris Pratt. And, most importantly to our shallow viewers,
he has transformed himself into a beefcake for his upcoming role in Guardian’s
of the Galaxy.
These five teams have all had some tremendous performances with a few head-scratching moments of ineptitude sprinkled into their season.
These five teams have all had some tremendous performances with a few head-scratching moments of ineptitude sprinkled into their season.
Tier Five: Tom Haverford
11. Packers (3-2) – (11)
12. Cowboys (3-3) – (12)
13. Ravens (3-3) – (9)
Had another actor been cast as Tom, he could have easily come off as selfish and unlikeable. But thanks to Aziz Ansari's endearing demeanor, "The Brown Gosling" is one of the show's more popular characters.
Despite uneven performances characterized by a noticeable lack of positive swag, if you asked me whether I think these three teams will miss the playoffs, my answer would be short and emphatic.
Tier Six: April Ludgate / Janet Snakehole
14. Browns (3-3) – (14)
15. Dolphins (3-2) – (15)
One of the most deadpan characters on television, April has a heart
of gold...sometimes (although some do not agree). This was the role Aubrey Plaza was born to
play; her dry sarcasm and signature eye-roll are the essence of her
character.
There is no scenario in which both the
Browns and Dolphins make the playoffs, and the most likely outcome is that both
are left out in the cold. Still, things
are looking much brighter for these two franchises than they have in a long
time.
Tier Seven: Ann Perkins
16. Chargers (3-3) – (22)
17. Eagles (3-3) – (19)
18. Titans (3-3) – (16)
For a while there, it seemed like Ann was never going to find her place on this show; she initially existed as a device to give Leslie and company an obstacle to overcome (turning the the pit into a park). But Rashida Jones’ adorable delivery is delightful, and Ann’s best-friendship with Leslie gives the show some of its warmest, funniest moments.
Plus, there is an opera singer named Lesley Anne Friend, which has to be some sort of sign.
The Chargers are repeatedly the hardest team to read every year. They will dominate a contender one week and then get blown out by a mediocre team the next. I wish they would just get their act together and let me know if they are good or not.
The Chargers are repeatedly the hardest team to read every year. They will dominate a contender one week and then get blown out by a mediocre team the next. I wish they would just get their act together and let me know if they are good or not.
Tier Eight: Chris Traeger
19. Panthers (2-3) – (25)
20. Jets (3-3) – (17)
21. Cardinals (3-3) – (18)
22. Rams (3-3) – (28)
Rob Lowe’s performance is always high-energy, and his delivery helps make what might otherwise be a one-note character into literally one of the ten funniest members of the cast.
Based on looks alone, none of these teams belong in the Chris Traeger tier.
Tier Nine:
23. Raiders (2-4) – (23)
24. Bills (2-4) – (24)
25. Vikings (1-4) – (26)
26. Redskins (1-4) – (27)
27. Falcons (1-4) – (20)
28. Texans (2-4) – (21)
29. Steelers (1-4) – (29)
The most underrated character on the show, Donna (played by Retta, the internet's most prolific live-tweeter) rarely gets a plot to call own, but she makes every scene she's in better.
Each of these teams have one exciting, highlight-reel player, but they'll never be a ginuwine contender until they get a couple Donna Meagles to help them do the little things right.
Tier Ten: Garry “Jerry” Gergich
30. Buccaneers (0-5) – (30)
31. Giants (0-6) – (31)
Always the butt of every joke, Jim O'Heir's Garry gets so little respect from his co-workers that they won't even call him by his real name.
If you could convert the Giants season into an office presentation, it would look exactly like this.
Tier Eleven: Mark Brendanawicz
32. Jaguars (0-6) – (32)
I’m sure many Jags fans wish their team could pull a Mark and
just disappear.
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