Vince Gilligan's Groundbreaking show officially became the greatest of all time this past Sunday when it aired its remarkable finale. Let us now celebrate this true work of art by making its characters the theme of this week's power rankings!
Tier One: Walter White1. Broncos (4-0) – (Previous rank: 1)
Everyone’s favorite Chemistry Teacher/ Car Wash Employee/ Meth Cook/ Drug Lord! Love him or hate him, Walter White is one of the great protagonists of all time, and Bryan Cranston deserves all three Emmy’s his performances have earned him.
No matter how you slice it, the Broncos are the cream of the crop. The chemistry that Peyton Manning has with his league-best receiving corps is absurd. He’s not in the touchdown business; he’s in the empire business.
Tier Two: Jesse Pinkman
2. Seahawks (4-0) – (2)
3. Saints (4-0) – (3)
4. Patriots (4-0) – (4)
Jesse Pinkman is the guy we all grew to root for as the show progressed, partially thanks to the fact that Aaron Paul’s performances seemingly got better and better every year.
Likewise, these teams seem to get better and better every week (well, not really, but it seemed like the thing to say in order to make the theme fit better. Maybe I’m trying too hard).
Seattle’s near-loss experience in Houston made it crystal clear, for at least one week, that they are not in the same class as the Broncos. Fear not, Seahawks fans, the Jesse Pinkman tier is still a bitchin’ place to be.
Tier Three: Gus Fring
5. Colts (3-1) – (8)
6. Chiefs (4-0) – (9)
7. Bears (3-1) – (5)
Gus Fring is possibly the most bad-ass villain in television history. I haven’t been around for all of television (that’s why I said “possibly”), but he is certainly my favorite antagonist, and that one part (you know the one) is still my favorite moment in the series.
Giancarlo Esposito is now giving great performances (one would assume) on NBC’s Revolution, a show that completely squandered its interesting premise.
The Bears, Colts and Chiefs all look like real contenders, although they each have more notable flaws than the team in the tier above them. I wouldn’t bet on them come playoff time, but that’s mostly because I’m not a gambling man (not for any moral reason, I just find it boring).
Tier Four: Mike Ehrmantraut
8. 49ers (2-2) – (11)
9. Bengals (2-2) – (6)
10. Ravens (2-2) – (7)
Breaking Bad’s resident action hero, Mike was just the coolest.
The 49ers, Bengals and Ravens are all teams that are clearly talented enough to make a playoff run, but have been far too inconsistent to be any higher than the Mike Ehrmanteir.
Tier Five: Saul Goodman
11. Lions (3-1) – (16)
12. Dolphins (3-1) – (10)
“S’all good, man; I called Saul Goodman!”
Saul Goodman was one of many breakout characters, and Bob Odenkirk’s fantastic turn as the sleazy lawyer is part of the reason why David Cross is now “the other guy” from Mr. Show.
The Lions and Dolphins are performing well above expectations thus far, and while neither team is a real Super Bowl threat, they both have legitimate shots to make the playoffs.
Also, Mr. Show was amazing.
Tier Six: Hank Schrader
13. Falcons (1-3) – (12)
14. Packers (1-2) – (13)
To think, this show all started when Walt went on a ride-along with his brother-in-law Hank, a rock-star DEA agent. Sorry, mineral-star DEA Agent.
Dean Norris entered the show as the poor man’s Michael Chiklis and exited as…well…not the poor man’s Michael Chiklis. Like Giancarlo Esposito, Norris is now stuck on a terrible network show that has completely wasted its interesting premise (CBS’ unwatchable Under the Dome).
I still feel pretty strongly that the Falcons and Packers are going to make the playoffs, but they have got to get their act together immediately.
Tier Seven: Skylar White
15. Texans (2-2) – (15)
16. Cowboys (2-2) – (14)
Following the dangerously sexist trend in recent television programs, far too many Breaking Bad fans loathed Skylar for various reasons (but mostly because they are unwittingly sexist). Regardless of what you think of her character, Anna Gunn was always fantastic and fully deserved her Emmy win.
The two teams from Texas both look solid. Like a solidly built roller-coaster. Because they’ve had their ups and downs. Which is why I compared them to a roller-coaster. Do I have to explain everything to you?
Tier Eight: Walt Jr.
17. Browns (2-2) – (23)
18. Titans (3-1) – (18)
19. Chargers (2-2) – (22)
20. Panthers (1-2) – (17)
But you can call him Flynn. He loved his breakfast, that Flynn.
The Browns, Titans, Chargers and Panthers are all nice little teams, but I can’t get too worked up about them just yet.
Tier Nine: Marie
21. Bills (2-2) – (29)
22. Eagles (1-3) – (19)
23. Vikings (1-3) – (24)
24. Jets (2-2) – (21)
25. Cardinals (2-2) – (28)
26. Redskins (1-3) – (25)
27. Rams (1-3) – (20)
Marie was an okay character. I’ve never met anyone with a strong opinion of her. Remember that shoplifting plot? That was a thing that happened.
None of these teams are really worth talking about. I’ve already wasted too many words on them, so I’m going to stop now.
Tier Ten: Badger / Huell
28. Giants (0-4) – (26)
29. Steelers (0-4) – (27)
30. Buccaneers (0-4) – (30)
31. Raiders (1-3) – (31)
We’ve now entered the comic relief portion of the power rankings. Badger and Huel were each part of their own comedic duo, but they were both the clear stars of their respective couplings.
Here are two of their greatest hits:
Badger
Huell
If you really want to laugh, throw on a Giants game.
Tier Eleven: Louis
32. Jaguars (0-4) – (32)
Walt Jr.’s best friend, who was played by two different actors, is mentioned often but rarely ever appears on screen. Like a Jaguar fan with a bag over his head, Louis lived a life of anonymity.
:-) You are amazing!
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