Pop Culture Power Rankings: Marvel Movie Villains!

If you want your movie to be a box-office success, your best bet is to slap the word "Marvel's" in front of it. John Carter, The Lone Ranger, and countless other bombs could have avoided their infamous pratfalls had they simply heeded this advice.

There have been a number of excellent movies based on Marvel comic books, as well as a fair share of misfires. Likewise, these movies contain some memorable and iconic villains, as well as some disappointing duds.

This week's rankings contain both the best and worst Marvel movie villains.

1. Magneto

Magneto is, in my opinion (and since I am the King of this blog, my opinion is all that matters), the greatest comic book villain of all time. The best villains should be powerful and motivated while also eliciting empathy from the audience.  Magneto has these qualities in spades; his ability to create magnetic force fields and manipulate metal make him a dangerous adversary, while his goal to eradicate all humans in the name of mutant superiority is truly menacing. The audience can sympathize with his motives, given his backstory as a holocaust survivor, while still rooting for him to fail.

In the X-Men films, Magneto is portrayed by two of the best actors of their generation: Sir Ian McKellan and Michael Fassbender. Lesser actors may have been overwhelmed by the gravity of the character and his moral dilemma, but both men gave powerhouse performances. Their chemistry with Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart and James McAvoy, respectively) is exceptional, and both McKelland and Fassbender are responsible for some of the franchise’s best moments (Fassbender was the unanimous MVP of X-Men: First Class).

Magneto is as essential to the X-Men franchise as any single character (yes, even Wolverine), and the depiction of the mutant team’s sometimes-arch-nemesis, sometimes-frienemy has been consistently superb throughout the series.

2. Loki

Loki just wants to be loved and feared and treated like the God he is. Thor’s adoptive brother is a mischievous trickster who loves to have fun and cause trouble, but the character’s defining characteristic is his envy. Loki lives in the shadow of his beloved brother, who gets preferential treatment from their father, as well as almost everyone else. This underdog role makes Loki easy to root for…well when he isn't trying to destroy planet Earth.

In Thor and The Avengers, Loki is portrayed magnificently by Tom Hiddleston. His pitch-perfect performance flawlessly balances the character’s charm, sadness, zealousness and desire to be worshipped.

Hiddleston himself has become a breakout star, universally praised for his likeability on and off the screen. He recently beat out Michael Fassbender (ironically defeating the only villain ranked above him on this list) for MTV’s Sexiest Man Alive poll. To put it simply, you probably have a crush on him.

If Loki really existed, he would probably loathe Tom Hiddleston.

Here he is talking to children.

3. William Stryker

Much like with Magneto, the audience can completely understand where Stryker is coming from. The military scientist’s goal is to protect the world from dangerous mutants, and with the damage we’ve seem Magneto cause, who can blame him? Both villains justify each other’s existence. However, Stryker’s plans to kidnap and experiment on mutants to harvest their powers is a bit…well, Josef Mengeley.

Stryker’s relationship with Wolverine, his own successful experiment, is the heart of X-Men 2, which is still the strongest in the franchise. Brian Cox’s fantastic performance helps elevate William Stryker to one of the best and most complex comic book movie villains in recent memory.

Danny Huston also did a fine job playing Stryker in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, but I try to forget as much of that movie as I can. My decision to make this list is making that hard.

4. The Mandarin

Shane Black’s interpretation of Iron Man’s classic arch nemesis was easily the most notable thing about Iron Man 3. Without spoiling anything, I will simply state that the differences between the movie version and the comic book version of the character are stark (HAHAHAHA! Get it? ‘Cause of Tony Stark?)

Over on the Internet, Iron Man fan boys threw a fit about Marvel’s reimagining of their beloved, possibly racist character. As someone who did not grow up reading or watching Iron Man comics / cartoons, I have no attachment to the character. From that standpoint, I thought the bold, modern take on The Mandarin was easily the best part of the movie. Ben Kingsley’s performance was unsurprisingly phenomenal and the direction Marvel decided to take fit perfectly within their established universe.

Comics and cinema are different mediums; what works in one might not work in the other. I completely understand why fans want a faithful interpretation of their favorite character, but for the rest of us, The Mandarin is what really made the movie.

5. Doctor Octopus

Dr. Otto Octavus has to be the most clumsily unsubtle alter-egos in the history of anything. Sam Raimi and company even attempted to hang the lampshade on the name during Spider-Man 2, having J.K. Simmons’ J. Jonah Jameson (that’s quite a mouthful) say something to the effect of “Guy named Otto Octavius winds up with eight limbs…what are the odds?”

The four extra limbs in question are the mechanical arms the brilliant scientist grafts onto his spine so that he may pick up the nearly-endless source of energy he is attempting to sustain (which is supposedly the big scientific achievement here, but can we talk about the fact that no one is really impressed with his ability to graft four new limbs onto his body?). But don’t worry, there’s a thin glass chip that makes sure the mechanical arms don’t end up controlling his brain, because not relying on a thin glass chip to stop your mechanical arms from controlling your brain would be reckless.

Unfortunately, the experiment goes haywire, Octavius’ wife dies and the chip shatters. And wouldn’t you know it, but the mechanical arms that now control Octavius’ brain are evil!  For some reason! Now he’s Doc Ock!

Alfred Molina’s performance is strong: alternately understated and maniacal depending on the scene. The suit itself looks cool, the CGI is pretty good and the fights between Doc Ock and Spider-Man are very well done. Raimi’s horror-movie background is evident all over the trilogy, and his skills are never put to better use than when he's making those slithery mechanical arms seem terrifying.

But someone is going to have to explain to me why mechanical arms are inherently evil. Much like all of Raimi’s Spider-Man movies, this incarnation of Doc Ock is a tad bit overrated.

6. Red Skull

Red Skull is one of Marvel’s original baddies, dating back to 1941 in the first issue of Captain America. A Nazi officer who believes he is destined to be a God among men, Red Skull is the embodiment of evil.

In Captain America: The First Avenger, Red Skull is played with gusto by Hugo Weaving. As always, Weaving brings passion to the role, delivering every line with the tenacity necessary to portray a man with a comically red face. In fact, in a testament to Weaving’s acting chops, I found him to be far more terrifying during the first half of the film, before he gets all Red-Skully.

For Weaving, it seems that the real villain was the role itself, and he does not sound too keen to return as Red Skull in the future. Unfortunately, that may not be up to him, as he is signed for multiple pictures. 

His pain is our gain!

7. Sebastian Shaw

What William Stryker is to Wolverine, Sebastian Shaw is to Magneto. Sort of.

Shaw is the leader of the "Hellfire Club," the awesomely named society of mutants intent on world domination. In X-Men: First Class, he is an ageless mutant who experiments on young Magneto during the Holocaust in an attempt to coax his powers into manifesting.

Shaw is a devious scoundrel with questionable methods, but like many X-Men villains, we can empathize with his morally questionable ambitions. Perhaps more importantly, Kevin Bacon is a blast to watch as the almost-immortal baddie with the ability to absorb and dispense energy.

Ultimately, Magneto adopts Shaw’s quest for mutant domination, even stealing his telepathy-blocking helmet. But let’s be honest: Magneto wore it better.

8. Doctor Doom

The absurdly named Dr. Victor von Doom (second only to Otto Octavius in the “seriously?” department) is one of the most important and iconic villains in comic book history. Not only is he a brilliant inventor, he is also the dictator of the fictional nation of Latveria, ruling from the capital city of Doomstadt (no, the title Fantastic Four does not mean it was written by a four year old).

Unfortunately, like the Fantastic Four movie itself, Julian McMahon’s portrayal of Doom was rather forgettable. The miscast actor portrayed the character as more of an angst-y playboy than a commanding, egotistical terror. A better Doctor Doom would not have saved Fox’s dreadful Fantastic Four franchise, but it could have made it more memorable.

9. Deadpool

Nicknamed “The Merc with the Mouth,” Deadpool is a droll anti-hero, beloved by comic book fans for his sarcastic, fourth-wall-breaking ways. So who better to play the wisecracking mercenary in X-Men Origins: Wolverine than Ryan Reynolds?

Seriously, I'm not being sarcastic; this was great casting, and the first half of the movie was actually pretty good. And then they (SPOILER!) decided to stich Deadpool’s mouth closed, gave him a multitude of powers and turned him into a mindless mutant-killer. 

This asinine choice is akin to Christopher Nolan deciding that The Joker would work better as a deaf-mute (actually, that might be interesting...somebody get Hollywood on the phone).

10. Galactus

Galactus is a God who is older than the cosmos and can devour entire worlds…hence the nickname “Devourer of Worlds.” He also goes by “The God of Oblivion” and “The Hunger That Does Not Cease.” Suffice it to say, the potential for Galactus to be an awesome villain on the big screen is immense.

Yet in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Galactus is depicted as a giant cloud. Seriously. A cloud. I'll say that one more time. A cloud. 

Instead of treating viewers to one of the raddest villains to ever hit the screen, Fox decided to use the Smoke Monster's body double.

To revisit my Batman analogy, that is tantamount to Christopher Nolan deciding that the Joker would work better as a shrub. An unkempt, overgrown shrub, but a shrub nonetheless.

11. Brett Ratner

Spoiler Warning!

That should have been the headline when it was announced that Brett Ratner would directing the third X-Men movie, because putting the series in his clumsy, bumbling ham-hands nearly ruined the franchise.

The same guy who may have masturbated in front of Olivia Munn and definitely resigned from directing the Oscars after using a homophobic slur is most notorious for his blundering take on the X-Men series. His film set the franchise back so much that the newest entry is introducing the “Days of Future Past” time-travel storyline in an effort to ret-con the events of the third film (at least I hope that's what they are doing).

If you still don’t believe that X-Men 3 was a total turd, here is an actual line of dialogue from the movie:

Unmemorable Mutant Girl: Hey Magneto, let me write on your arm and junk.

Magneto: Fuck no. I don’t let anyone write on me… ‘cause of the Holocaust.

I kid you not, that is a scene from X-Men 3, verbatim.  Okay, I may have paraphrased a bit, but you get the point.

If only Kitty Pryde (or in this case, Wolverine, because Hugh Jackman sells movie tickets) could go back in time and stop Brett Ratner from getting anywhere near the X-Men franchise…